Responding to Criticism
Posted by Jan Wencel on Fri, Feb 18, 2011
This is our second conversation formula--a structure to follow when emotions want to take over. (Our first was delivery constructive criticism. Our third is responding to self doubt.)
Responding to Criticism
Accepting someone else’s feedback can trigger feelings of anxiety, anger, panic or distress for some. If you identify with those outcomes, this formula should prove invaluable. Transfer your cognitive energies toward using this technique, and you’ll dampen your emotive response.
a) Rephrase what you heard the other person say.
b) Ask questions (no statements; only questions!) to get greater clarification.
c) Thank them for the input (unless you’re not thankful).
d) After you’ve thought about it (on the spot or much later), tell them your plan for moving forward (if necessary).
Example
a) What I heard you say is my leadership style wastes time in meetings and causes confusion for the team. b) Is that what you meant to say? Do you think this is true for all meetings, or for only those toward the end of projects? Roughly what percentage of time do you think is wasted on average? Do you think there are other contributors to this waste? What indicators are there that the team is confused? Have you experienced those indicators on projects outside of my team? c) I appreciate you bringing this up. I’m going to give it more thought.
By turning your attention to the mechanics of your response, you'll replace involuntary responses with considered ones.
What techniques help you respond to appraisal?